A Prayer from Andy Murray’s Mother (Non-Interventionist God)

This is from the new live show My Bad Gospel: The Backslider’s Songbook Vol 1, due to debut at this year’s Belladrum Festival. YouTube video (with a tune!) will be up in due course.

NON INTERVENTIONIST GOD  (A mother’s prayer for Andy Murray)

Hallo Andy I heard from your mum
She’s most concerned about what you’ve not become
The people of Scotland, they’ve been calling too
I’m not sure there’s a lot I can do for you

I suppose I could send some sort of plague
On your opponents, but that seems pretty vague
I could turn Nadal into a pillar of salt
But everyone would guess it was all my fault

And I’m a non-interventionist God
I’m a non-interventionist God
People laugh, and say it’s odd
But I’m a non-interventionist God

The thing is Andy, what people don’t get
I can’t help you get the ball over the net
I’m trying to make it plain, believe me it’s true
When it comes to racquets, it’s all up to you

CHORUS

Prayers are nice, praise is so rare these days
It’s always good to see you on your knees to pray
But my advice is to hone your skill
I’m saying God won’t, but maybe you will

CHORUS

Frankly Andy, your hope is quite forlorn
My interventionist days are all but gone
I don’t feel at home on a tennis court
I much prefer golf.  

I invented that sport.

CHORUS